Life After the Loss of Our Child
I Need A Magic Wand
I’m not perfect, and I don’t have it all figured out. I am at a good place in my grieving process. So, when I see someone who I’ve befriended on Facebook or that I know struggling with the grief of losing their son/daughter it breaks my heart. I wish I could help them get to that place of peace that I have reached. I would love to help them try to live fully in memory of their child. If only they knew what I’ve learned on how to live life after the loss of our child. Can I get a magic wand to make that pain go away?
The Pain is Unbearable
It hurts, I know. It seems as if there is no hope in sight. The days are long, and the nights are longer. We don’t think we’ll make it. There’s no space in our mind for anything else except to grieve the loss of our loved one. There is only plenty of space to relive every second of our last moments with them and mourn every day of our lives.
There Truly Are No Words
We know people mean well, but we don’t care to hear anyone’s advice or comforting words because there aren’t any that will help us understand why. Especially when coming from people who have never experienced such a loss, a simple hug will do much more than words. We don’t want to think about anything else other than our deceased child, so trying to divert our attention towards other things won’t help either. I know because I’ve been there.
What Were Their Dreams?
I advise those who are grieving the loss of their son/daughter to try to live for them. If your child(ren) were of talking age, most likely, you’ve had conversations with them. Try to recall those conversations. What did they like? What did they want to do and didn’t have the chance? Where did they want to go? What were their dreams? Once you’ve identified those things, try living for them. Do, in their memory, what they could not. Try fulfilling those dreams for them.
Keeping Their Memory Alive
If they loved horses, spend time at a stable, volunteer at one or go horseback riding in your child(ren)s memory. Did they enjoy dancing? Then take dance lessons, teach dancing to another child or something to that effect. What was their favorite color? Paint a wall in your home in that color and make it a memorial wall for your child. There are so many things to do in memory of our child(ren), which will keep us busy, give us a sense of accomplishment and believe me, make us feel happy once we reach our goal. Most important of all, our child(ren) will be so happy and proud of us even though they’re in heaven. And, there’s no better feeling than knowing that our child(ren) are happy.
We Shall Live
I wish I had a little magic wand to make my grieving friends whole again, but I don’t. That small magic wand is within each one of us. Only you can make it happen, and believe me, it is possible, and it does help us continue to live.
My heartfelt blessings to all. {{Hug}}
Diary Of A Grieving Mother’s Heart is a compilation of my grieving journals, rants, sadness, and joy. I’ve been through many different scenarios — both good and bad — which have helped me reach the place of peace that I now have. I invite you to explore my journey, and I pray that, as it helped me, it will help you. You can find it on Amazon in paperback and in Kindle version too.
Originally published at https://debbiesreflection.com on January 27, 2019.
