New Found Joy of Celebrating Birthdays
Today is my birthday! Infinite Spirit (God, Lord, Shiva, etc.) has given me another year to embrace. Fifty-seven to be exact. I never imagined myself at this age. Then again, I never imagined myself at any age — too much going on to be thinking about what my life would be like at the age of thirty, forty, fifty or beyond. I never even saw myself past the age of fifty-five.
Why? Well, let me tell you a story. It all began many years ago when I was a child. For whatever reason, I had the age of fifty-five as the age that I would die. I don’t know why, but I recall numerous times saying that I would die at the age of fifty-five. I didn’t have a reason to believe this, I wasn’t sick — I am a healthy person. I don’t have any enemies and don’t cause harm to anyone so there’s no reason for anyone to try to kill me. I don’t do drugs or any dangerous activities that could cause my life to be in jeopardy. It was just always there. I did mention it to a few people like my spouse, children and some close friends.
It was the year 2018. Earlier that year, I didn’t think about it — kind of kept it off my mind. But one night I had a bizarre dream. I dreamt that I was walking hand in hand alongside my husband. To our right was the serene, blue ocean. It seemed as if we were in Venice. Ahead of us towards the left were double doors that appeared to be a theatre entrance. People were walking out those doors. Every time the door opened, you could tell it was dark in there. As we stopped and watched, we caught a glimpse of someone dear to me with her 8-year-old granddaughter in tow. I will call her Eve. Eve died in 2017 due to health issues. In the dream, she seemed healthy and happy. We made eye contact and I smiled at her, but she turned towards her right and walked away. I watched her go but didn’t move or say anything when all of a sudden, she turned around and walked towards me. Eve stood before me as I gave her a warm hug. She didn’t return the hug but with seriousness on her face said, “You will be visiting soon,” then she turned around and walked away. My husband and I looked at each other, shrugged our shoulders and continued talking to each other and walking. It was March 13, 2018 — one month before my fifty-fifth birthday.
I woke up shivering, worried and immediately told my husband about the dream. He comforted me and tried to convince me it was just a dream but I couldn’t let it go. I felt as if Eve had acknowledged what I already knew. I had little time to live and I felt sad. I didn’t want to go yet. I began taking precautionary steps in everything I did. Even if it was just a dream, it haunted me. So the thought of me losing my life so soon had me on edge.
April 13 came and it was a good one. I spent the day with family and friends and it was delightful. But still, I was not out of the woods. “Now I am fifty-five years old,” I thought. “Anything can happen to me at any moment and that’s it.” But one day while meditating, I felt a lot of peace, serenity and I felt the following thoughts in my mind,
“Everyone has there time to go. If it is mine then it shall be. There’s no need to worry. I’ll just continue to live life as if it were my last day.”
After that meditation, I felt different. I was no longer afraid of what might happen. I vowed to continue life and forget about the dream. It worked because all of a sudden, it was my birthday again — fifty-six years old. I had survived my nightmarish year.
That was two years ago. I still don’t know what was the significance of the dream. I think it might have something to do with my spiritual awakening — a new me, new life, a new beginning. It was the year I began centering myself and elevating my awareness to a higher consciousness level. The year I began yoga and more profound meditation and spiritualism. I won’t worry about the dream right now. I’m alive and that’s what’s important.
Today I turn fifty-seven years old and I am happier than I’ve ever been before. I don’t worry about death anymore. I learned to embrace each day as it comes. No one knows when their last day on this earth will be. There’s no need to worry about something we cannot control.
Live happy my friends!
